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HK Girl Talk – by Jin Wong – is a blog of the author's randomness and her being fascinated by all the interesting cultural phenomena in Hong Kong and China.

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Top 5 Lame Cantonese Pickup Lines

29 Comments Posted by Jin on August 26, 2011

Chilling out with a few friends last night, we discussed what Cantonese and English pick-up lines do guys use to hit on girls in Hong Kong. Before you officially hate me on spilling your secrets, please read it and make sure you wouldn’t say it again to any girls (with quality).

I’ve done the translation for you.

B = Boy; G = Girl

1. The Hanger

B: I think I need some new hangers.

G: Um.. why? You got a lot of new clothes?

B: Because I want to hang you up.

Comment: (Phonetically, “hang you up” sounds the same as “I miss you” (掛住你) in Cantonese) If I ever heard this, I would hang myself up and die alone.

2. The Neurotic

B: Hey, you just stamped on my feet, it hurt.

G: I didn’t. Are you neurotic (痴線)?

B: Yes! You have such a sharp eyes. I was a neurotic, but my disease only breaks out when I meet beautiful girl.

Comment: If I didn’t stop talking to guys like this, I might become neurotic myself.

3. The Runner

B: Are your feet tired?

G: No, why?

B: Because you’ve been running through my mind for the whole day.

Comment: How about you skip the Mid-level escalator and run up from Central to Robinson Road at 3 in the morning to show how much you like me?

4. The Messenger

B: Can you lend me your mobile?

G: Yes, here you go. But why?

B: I’m going to tell God that I found a lost angel.

Comment: Um… I also want to know God’s phone no. Can you give me?

5. The Ancestor

B: If I have to give our love relationship a time, I hope it is 10,000 years.

Comment: (Love You for 10,000 Years is a very old but popular Cantonese Song) Eeww… it’s just gross.

*Updated: I haven’t being told any of these lines mentioned above.

Guys and Girls Cantonese, Lame Jokes, Pick-up Lines

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29 Responses to Top 5 Lame Cantonese Pickup Lines

Miss Fong August 26, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Haha, nice post! but do local guys really use lines like that? Don’t they just say… “Hey pretty lady, I’m an i-banker/doctor/lawyer (or whatever)” ??

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- Jin August 26, 2011 at 12:29 pm
  Thanks. Haha, I haven’t experienced being told these lines before. But yeah, a lot of guys like saying “Hey beautiful, I work for JP/GS/MS.. blah blah blah”.. haha.
  
  Reply
Simone Marini August 26, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Well, I work for [company name] is one the lamest lines ever, like “Hey, I have no balls, so I’m borrowing some from the impressive [company name]!

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- Jin August 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm
  LOL. Also true. But I covered this in my previous article How a Finance Guy Gets a Hong Kong Girl already.
  
  Reply
Dong August 26, 2011 at 2:33 pm
The romantic

B: Did you know you father was a thieve?
G: Errr… no… Why ?
B: Cuz he took all the stars from the sky to put them in your eyes.
G: …

The family guy

B: Hey, do you want to have my children ?
G: … No…
B: Ok…. then can we just practice?

The creepy

B: I’ve got a condom with your name on it.
G: ….

The rapist

B: Aaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!
G: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
B: Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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- Jin August 26, 2011 at 3:46 pm
  Hahahahahha. Thanks Dong for the humor.
  
  Reply
Fili August 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Terrific.

I recently saw a similar Israeli post where girls collected some horrible Israeli opening lines… here’s my quick bad translation:
- What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
- I’m here, now what’s your two other wishes?
- Is your dad a cook? so how come two “eggs” resulted in a delicious cake like you?
- Are you good with numbers? there’s a certain number I need to check with you…
- How about you come over to my apartment and listen to some music, and if you don’t like it you just get dressed and leave?

and this goes on and on… :S

Romantic, isn’t it?

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- Jin August 26, 2011 at 3:47 pm
  Thanks for sharing Fili!
  
  I love the second one. The third and fifth ones are… lame. But very funny.
  
  Reply
TC Tham August 26, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Never knew how to hit on girls.. I guess I’m under the “The Loner” category.

B: …
G: …

Finally both parted their ways.. and the boy would think… “Dengz, I should have said “”.”

Haha. I really don’t remember saying any hit lines. Depressing.

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- Jin August 26, 2011 at 5:05 pm
  Well.. sorry for not being helpful in this blog post. If those I listed are the lame ones, I guess not saying anything is better than saying those lame lines.
  
  Reply
TC Tham August 26, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Note: I repost cause some words disappeared when I post. I guess there is a HTML filter. Haha~

Never knew how to hit on girls.. I guess I’m under the “The Loner” category.

B: …
G: …

Finally both parted their ways.. and the boy would think… “Dengz, I should have said “[Insert_hit_line_here]”

Haha. I really don’t remember saying any hit lines. Depressing.

Reply
zenlifefrugal August 26, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Funny post. Sounds just as bad as the lines in English. Those lines tend to be ineffective most of the time. I found just going up to the girl and saying, “Hi my name is…” works about the best.

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- Jin August 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm
  Simply the best.
  
  Reply
  - zenlifefrugal August 26, 2011 at 9:01 pm
    Yep. Then one can get into some of the humor after introductions are made.
    
    Reply
Ziccawei August 27, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I always use this line with HK girls:

‘Get your coat, darling, you’ve pulled’.

Then they say that they haven’t got a coat.

It gets kind of confusing after that.

Reply
- Jin August 27, 2011 at 6:57 pm
  Hahaha. I don’t get it. But thanks for sharing.
  
  Reply
  - Ziccawei August 28, 2011 at 1:33 am
    I love sharing stuff with you Jinny.
    
    Reply
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MKL September 1, 2011 at 10:10 pm
我曾經見過妳嗎？
或許在我夢裡見過？

I used this one for my wife and it worked:

妳看起來像個仙女，歡迎來到凡間。

Just kidding

Reply
- Jin September 2, 2011 at 8:10 am
  Hahahahaha. Thanks for the laughter.
  
  Reply
Mak Mak September 4, 2011 at 9:00 am
I actually found this pretty funny. haha

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- Jin September 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm
  Thanks Mak
  
  Reply
beaufortninja September 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Pretty sure I’ve used all of these lines before.

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Gorbachevv September 18, 2011 at 12:06 pm
These are amazingly bad pickup lines. Wow.

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Zvi October 23, 2011 at 4:01 pm
To my knowledge, guys don’t use pickup lines. They seem to be mostly invented by comedians and picked up by girls who use them to complain about guys.
To qualify that statement, I’ve never used a pickup line, nor has any guy I’ve ever known used a pickup line. HK girls are neurotic enough as it is, the worst thing you could do is throw rocks at the bee-hive.

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- Jin October 24, 2011 at 10:03 pm
  Then you must be very good at picking up girls even though you don’t use pickup lines. Congrats.
  
  Reply
  - Zvi October 25, 2011 at 12:34 am
    Haha, I don’t think I’m any better at it than the next guy. I tend to have a lot more luck in Taiwan, not surprisingly.
    In my experience, the best way of picking up a girl is not to go at it with the mindset that you’re ‘picking her up’. You see a girl you want to meet, in almost any situation (except never on the MTR!), then you just blurt out whatever comes to mind about the situation. The worst that can happen is that she ignores you (never been slapped or had the girl call the police, although I’m not as boorish as some guys, so I can only speak for myself). So while on paper, pickup lines are the de jure pickup technique, in real life (at least in my experience and observations) it goes somewhat more like this:
    B: (gets her attention by waving his hand behind her cell phone as she patters away at her zillionth text message that hour)
    B: “I’m looking in the neighborhood for an apartment; I was wondering if you could tell me what you think of the place?”
    OR
    B: “I thought you might want to know that a centipede just walked about 4cm from your foot.” (she panics) “Don’t worry, it’s gone now.”
    etc.
    It doesn’t really matter if it’s true or not, so long as it doesn’t seriously misrepresent you as a person.
    To those, responses vary a lot, but they work pretty often, and getting her number is a lot easier once she starts laughing. Even when it doesn’t turn into anything romantic, those are also safe ways to meet potential friends, so it’s a win-win approach, I’d say. Pickup lines seem like they’d just fall flat on their face almost every single time.
    
    Reply
    - Jin October 25, 2011 at 4:29 pm
      Zvi, I though you said you don’t use pickup lines in your previous comment?
      
      Nonetheless, thanks for sharing.
      
      But I doubt if many Chinese girls understand the meaning of “centipede” because a lot of them are not good in English…
      
      Reply
      - Zvi October 26, 2011 at 8:42 am
        That’s right. I guess it boils down to how a pickup line is defined. I consider a pickup line to be a scripted opening dialogue. What I was talking about isn’t scripted, I was just giving some examples of how an opening dialogue would typically go for me, but it’s always going to be something that fits the situation, so that it’s personalized and relevant, which is where pickup lines generally fail.
        English can certainly be a problem, although I’ve been surprised on a number of occasions at how robust Chinese girls’ vocabularies are when it comes to the topic of insects. I wonder why…
        
        Reply