- The free-for-foreigners, HKD4,800-for-Hong-Kong-ladies dinner.
The free-for-foreigner, HKD4,800-for-Hong-Kong-ladies dinner.
One day, I was sitting down in front of my computer and saw a few male friends posting up the poster above on Facebook and saying BS like “It’s every man’s dream” or “gotta bring my passport and enjoy a free meal” or of course the usual “I wish I was single”. A few days later, the news was spread across the town and everyone was talking this Dinner of the Year.
It’s a ladies-pay-HKD4,800 and men-for-free speed dating dinner to be held at one of leading luxury hotels in Hong Kong, the Mandarin Oriental (although the Hotel denied that it wasn’t their official event and refused to host the event a few hours before the dinner began, according to WSJ).
I was completely shocked.
Nonetheless, here are what I find interesting and ridiculous:
Ambiguous Requirements for Male and Female
The dinner requires ladies to be “single professionals” and men to be “35-48 professionals and foreigners only”. Men are not required to be single while ladies have to be single. So, ladies, just make sure you’re single and come pay the money to date a foreigner. Guys, they don’t care if you’re single or not as long as you can come and enjoy the free meal.
Another point to note is the definition of “foreigners”. Does it mean white men only? Do those non-white people who have a foreign country passport count? Would a black or brown guy be recognized as foreigner? We don’t know the answer. But as seen on the poster, it seems that “foreigners” mean white men. This indicates a common generalization that “foreigners” refer to “white men”. Instead, anyone who is from a cultural background or race that is different from the country is a “foreigner”, regardless of their skin color.
“Hong Kong Women are Easy to Get?”
The essence of the free-for-foreigner dinner is to attract those Chinese women who are into dating a foreigner, but the way the event is promoted poses humiliation and insult to the Hong Kong female. It’s true that some Hong Kong women are crazy about foreigners because of the exoticism and the ego of carrying a tall, white guy around town and show off to their friends, “yo, I’m dating a white dude”. However, putting a monetary value (that is large enough to book a return trip from Hong Kong to Bangkok) for Hong Kong female’s desire to date a foreign is somewhere misleading and poses a huge social implication of people’s perception of “Chinese women are easy to get”.
Oh no… I’m Getting Left-over!
Yes, the market works well in itself where everything can be transacted so long as you can and are willing to pay. However, HKD4,800 is almost half of what an average Hong Kong-ese can earn per month (the medium monthly salary of the Hong Kong workforce is HKD11,000 as of 2011, according to the Government figures). Only those Hong Kong women who are probably above their 30s and who are still single and unmarried would be able to afford the price. Therefore, not only does the event implies Hong Kong women’s lust for dating a foreigner, but also their desperation to get married as they approach the “left-over” age. This highlights the Chinese culture of caring about reproduction and passing your genes to your next generations because it’s the root of forming a peaceful and complete society.
Hong Kong Men, Stay Strong
There are more females than males in Hong Kong (there are 881 males per 1000 females as of mid 2010), so Hong Kong men should be in scarcity and so being popular among Hong Kong women. Sadly, Hong Kong women (especially those high-educated and international ones)’s desperation to date a foreigner has implied the weakening competitive edges of Hong Kong men. Those Hong Kong females do not view the local men as precious as they should be. Now, Hong Kong women in this case even do not mind to pay for a big sum of cash for the chance to meet quality foreigners, then one could hardly see how Hong Kong men would remain confident and ambitious when the females keep pushing them away.
“I Don’t Need You to Pay for Me, Women”
Some people also raised the issue about “would a successful man bother to go for free meals paid by successful women?”. For a 35-year-old professional male, a free fancy dinner sounds like a very good deal. But if a man is successful and professional enough to be eligible to go to the dinner for free, they still might not be put up with the fact that their meals are paid by female because they themselves can also afford it. To some males, paying dinner for females is a way of being gentleman and showing that they can take care of the women they deserve. However, the free-for-foreigner is exactly the opposite and it might indicate males’ lack of ability to chase women at normal occasions rather than a speed dating event. To those ambitious males, this might be an insult to them as well.
Marketing Heat for the Speed Dating Company
One thing I have to feel amazed with is how smart the speed dating agent is to brainstorm this controversial event that sparks widespread public discussions. They know how to convey the marketing message well: using the smiley Chinese girl and white man on the poster to depict a picture of “white guys get hot Chinese girls”. Although the publicity the speed dating company gets is mainly a negative one, it remains a great marketing legend. In the future, foreigners will thank the company for reinforcing the important message of “Asia is our playground, yo”.
Afterthoughts
In a market economy, the speed dating event seems to be legitimate. Men and women both get what they want. However, on a social perspective, the way the poster is designed and the participants’ requirements are outlined pose a negative social implication of “Chinese women are easy to get”. When the news about this event is spread across the world, there may be more people believing in the misleading definition of “foreigners” (i.e. white men) and the desperation of Chinese women in dating a foreigner just for the sake of doing it. To me, the speed dating company did not take into enough consideration about the huge social impact and people’s future expectation on Chinese women, Chinese men and the Chinese society. The Chinese society is a complicated one with lots of recent culture influx from all over the world because of the booming economy. Different people might put different thoughts on how the Chinese people see things and do things. But the idea of this dinner and the event itself have promoted a cursory generalization on Chinese women without considering many other factors. One should be wise enough to not make any presumptions on Chinese women and foreigners based merely on the poster.
What do you think about this?
You be interested in knowing how I think about Why There are So Many “Left-over” Single Females in Hong Kong.
If you want to see the detailed social media discussions of the topic, you can visit this link.
Categories: Guys and Girls
Tags: Crazy, Hong Kong Culture, Speed Dating
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i’m a bit surprised with your view on this.
I honestly don’t get all the HK sensitivities about this. you’re assuming too many things from just looking at an ad. did an ABC try to get in and was refused? were there really married foreigners registering?
i don’t think it’s degrading for women to pay for dinner, just as it’s not degrading for men to pay extremely high fees for ladies’ night or other themed nights in clubs and pubs. if there’s a market and a need, and it helps people socialize and find love, why not? who are we to judge? we’re not talking about escort services or buying brides/grooms, we’re talking about getting people together to enjoy a meal together and see if they fit.
the whole thing also seems quite progressive (feminist). women can hold the upper hand financially, they can hold the power, and they can take charge in finding their path.
hk men have nothing to fear, especially not from an event like that. to me it seems most hk gals (and their parents) have and will continue to prefer local guys. the group of local gals who can pay 4800HK$ and would rather date a foreigner are usually gals who have spent considerable time abroad and have a difficult time adjusting back to the local culture. for this point it almost sounds like the opposite claim – “this is a great idea! but how come hk guys aren’t lucky enough to get women to pay 4800hk$ to sit with them for dinner?”.
anyways, i say – let people be. if a girl feels she prefers foreigners, or she prefers hk locals, that’s her own thing. if a girl would like to attend such an event – let her be.
35+ hk girls go through so much pressure in hk as it is even without the whole community judging their every move on how they try to find love.
just my two cents.
Thanks for your comment. Yeah, I have a very traditional view this time. I do think that the market works well in giving people what they want if they can afford the price. Somehow I’m still disappointed by how the event would pose adverse influence on Hong Kong women’s image in the future. I especially dislikes the fact that white guys just think that they can do whatever they want so long as they’re in Hong Kong / China / Asia. I’m more against the effects it brings to how people perceive Hong Kong women (and Asian women) as a whole.
But well, your perspectives aren’t wrong. If there is a demand, there must be a supply to meet it.
OMG!!! these women are mainland Chinese not Hong Kong women.
DO SOME RESEARCH YOU GUYS…..If you guys did any freaking research and asked the founder of this agency Rachel Chan she would tell you her clients were also all mainland Chinese and speaks Mandarin, there not HK women. This was also the reason the why advertisement was in simplified Chinese and not Traditional Chinese? the only mistake they made is for this was to call it ‘HK speed dating’ because apparently the founder of this dating agency was indeed an local HK women and this advert brought shame to us all. HOWEVER…..please STOP talking about HK women when it’s actually mainland Chinese women.
Exactly! I totally agree with Mercede123.
Actually, a lot of speculation/ inaccurate info or micro analysis etc. (let alone precious time) can be saved if a bit of research can be done (e.g. just Goggle the subject) b4 writing paragraphs n paragraphs that might be lacking the truth. That being said, Jin (well, in case u are reading) I hope u are open minded enough to understand sometimes criticisms are meant well. This one incident might be just an oversight. Most of the times, u do have some good perspectives, and as one of the readers, i only meant well. We all win some, lose some, no biggie. Thx for your good work which is definitely most of the times!
The thing is, both sexes get exploited in HK; men pay extortionate amounts to get into clubs and buy drinks on Ladies Night and local women get exploited in this instance, too. As a foreigner, the thing that bugs me is the way it’s advertising ‘foreigners’ as though we are a luxury commodity – it’s pretty degrading. They may as well just go all out and say “Grab yourself a rich white man so he can buy you lots of nice handbags!”. I guess it’s degrading to all involved!
YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY??? most of these women are Mainland Chinese women not even Hong Kong women. It’s only called HK speed dating because the founder of this agency is from Hong Kong women. Almost all he clients are rich mainland Chinese women.
Mercede123, I heard similar stories.
Yeah, a lot of rich female bankers who go to speed dating are Mainland Chinese women. Maybe it’s because they are more concerned about approaching the “left-over” age (i.e. age to get married) than Hong Kong females as I heard that they would get upset if they’re not married (or not having a guy to be married with) when they reach 25.
Those are China women going to these hongkong dating service paying high price to meet white men. The hk dating agency are exploiting these China women. So sad.
Agreed with you, brmanuk.
Foreigners sound like a commercial product here – every (aggressive) girl wants one. My male friends even said some of them don’t know how to define the boundary of love and sex. Girls might think that they give out sex for having the guy as their “boyfriend” and so they get what they want (e.g. materialistic products).
That is so crazy.
Jin, I’m long time reader of your blog and this is the first time I feel disappointed with your views. How come this event was made up by someone from Hong Kong, but when I read your post, it’s like white men are to blame. You sound angry and in parts irrational, even though you make some valid points.
Also in your reply to fili (with who i agree) you confirm my notion, when you say: “I especially dislikes the fact that white guys just think that they can do whatever they want so long as they’re in Hong Kong / China / Asia.”
I do not belong into this group of white guys who think they can do whatever they want in Asia. And I know many white guys here in Taiwan and Hong Kong, who are similar. In contrast, there are lots of Hong Kong or Taiwanese men, who go to Mainland, Vietnam, Philippines and think they can do whatever they want. Such behavior is unique to men, regardless of race or background: You have assholes in every country. But in your post you portray white guys as by default “bad” and the local Hong Kong men (and women) as by default “good” the victims based on this event. If you want to discuss this issue, I don’t think you chose the right approach and wording. It sounds offensive to me, because you generalize too much and use those standard stereotypes about white males, which we continuously hear about. If something is repeated over and over again, it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true.
Besides, we live in a globalized world, economies are interconnected, interracial relationships are normal at this point of history, as it’s very easy and cheap to travel intercontinentally. This is a fact and we need to get used to it. Do you know how many immigrants we have in Europe? Go to some big cities and compare with Asian big cities, it’s a huge difference. And we have a lot of Chinese immigrants, even many with Hong Kong or Cantonese roots. The communities are much bigger than those of white people in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Tokio and the mainstream accepts them as “theirs”. Yet here in the Far East we are constantly singled out as “trouble makers’”, we “steal women”, we are “blamed for everything”. One white asshole makes something bad, suddenly “we all gotta leave” , even those who live here normal boring lives, pay taxes, try to blend in. Why is there no focus on us? Because some people don’t want to see the majority of us as how we really are and that’s because of that nasty word, that starts with r and ends with ism.
I like to live in Taiwan, it’s comfortable, it’s easy to create a network of friends, colleagues, relatives and if you work hard, you can have a pleasant life. The food is great, I love to travel in the region, it’s always fun. But I will always be “waigouren” in the eyes of the most people, that don’t know me. I will be stared at, I will be assumed many bad things, I will be seen as tourist or temporary resident – I will never be fully accepted as part of this society. It’s not like every white person, who lives in Asia has it easy – to the contrary. There are young guys, whose experience here is party, sex, easy life. But that’s a very small part of the “white community” (there is actually no such community). And even, if some are doing this without harming anyone, I don’t see why would that be upsetting. A lot of young Hong Kong guys, who study abroad, do the same. Guys will be guys.
To go back to the poster: Why is the white guy the bad guy here? Nobody forces women to pay 48k, I think it’s much easier to date interracially free of charge, so I’m sure the idea will be a financial flop. Other than this remark, I would not waste my time on discussing this poster and event.
Thanks for your comment and long-time support to my blog. I’m glad that you post your views here which I have learned a lot from.
I apologize if it sounds offensive to you and to white guys in general. I do not judge people based on their race. I think what irritates me about this event is that the poster implies the desperation of Chinese women and so it might lead to more people and foreigners thinking that Chinese women are easy to get.
I agree with you that foreigners living in Asian cities are not all assholes. A lot of my friends are foreigners too because I like hanging out with open-minded and international people because I can learn so much from them. Their travel / working experience in various countries is already something I can gain a lot of insights from. What I’m against is the misleading social implication the poster is depicting.
White guys are NOT all bad here.
Hi Jin.. Thanks for your reply and clarifying. I actually agree with you about the implication of this poster and if you had put it the way you did in your reply to my comment, I would’ve agreed with you and not write a that long response. It’s just that I’m tired of the ecent anti-foreigner sentiment in the region, also here in Taipei, so I’m sensitive to the issue. I seldom feel I have real advantage here, because I’m white. To the contrary. I knew it will be a challenge to move here and it’s a decision I don’t regret. I don’t intend to change the people here, I just don’t want to stick out all the time and have to prove that I’m not what people assume. And because I really like your blog and think highly of you, I had to write my response – if it’s some lousy blogger, I would not even bother to read.
I know that this is a topic, that polarizes and I know you care about the image of Hong Kong and Chinese women (I do, too) which stirred up emotions, that are felt in your text, nevertheless we have to be careful how we write about these issues, as it can easily be taken the wrong way. The good thing is, that you allow various opinions in the comments, which then balances the views. Keep on writing and write more often, I missed your updates
You’re right. I actually keep editing my past articles whenever I hear feedback from my readers. These days I’ve been so busy. But yeah, I should have put it in a way where my views are more explicitly expressed than sounding like that I dislikes white people and generalizing that they all sound very bad.
Sometimes I write badly because: 1) I’m too tired due to work and life, and 2) I’m just oblivious sometimes.
But I do want you to know that I’m against the idea of judging people on what other people say. Unless I actually see it and experience it, I will never try to generalize people.
Yeah it was a bad idea by the dating company. The supply/demand premise makes sense, but targeting certain people based on their race or where they come from is just wrong.
Not only that, but I don’t think you’d be able to find love at one of these events since it seems to have contradictory values for males and females. The women are paying to meet genuine men, but since it’s free for the men they will just be going to have fun.
Like with the nice hong kong girls post before, I think the women who are paying for this type of event would have more success meeting men through work or friends, and more of a chance of meeting someone who is right for them (regardless of where they come from).
This gives a negative impression of everyone involved, but what we must remember is there are plenty of women who don’t care whether their boyfriend is local or foreign, and plenty of foreigners who are respectful towards women and would not go to one of these dating events.
Jake, I think that the dating company is smart. They have gained great public attention. What I’m against at is that the poster implies a bad social perception that Chinese women are easy.
If a woman is rich enough to pay HKD4,800, she is also capable to meet successful men through work and other occasions. If they do pay to go to the speed dating event, I think that they’re either too desperate or they do it for fun.
Interesting. I’d say that the individuals that go to these events must be desperate. I know my life is sad (if you only knew) but seriously, I wouldn’t ever see myself going through this. I know I would rather go to a church or something to find a girl (if I was actually serious). But it definitely is an attention grabber.
Yes, the cost of this event implies how the market economy works. If you don’t think it’s worth it, you’d better not involve yourself into this kind of events.
Exactly. I found many of those people are not the kind of people that I want to have a romantic interest in but you can meet some interesting people nevertheless.
Let me first by saying that I’m not against interracial dating. If I was, I’d be a hypocrit.
Let’s be perfectly honest, “foreigner” is code word for white skinned folks. A CBC such as myself would not be considered foreign because that’s how shallow it is in HK. Don’t get me wrong, it is getting better, but I still see Chinese discriminating against Chinese in my industry. Imagine for a second the outrage these women would have felt if the company delivered blacks, browns, or even yellows.
The issue I see here is that this event demeans women. Sure, some are angry that they for once have to pay for the guy (on a first date no less!), but others are angry because they are advertised as sexual objects that will even pay to be in the company of foreigners. Finally, some are angry because it exposes them for how desperate they are.
I also want to address the issue that local men may be threatened by this event. I’m not a local, but I can bet you that if you asked local men if they want anything to do with these women, the answer will be no. First of all, the women that attend these events are most likely in the late 20′s if not 30′s. In other words, they’re not as in high demand as they once used to be. Maybe the men are to blame for driving the local women away. Then again, I think it’s more likely that the women are naive enough to believe that foreigners are somehow better than local men. (I hate to break it to you ladies, all men are pigs.) I mean when you pass a certain age and local men no longer chase you, it’s easy to see why they might look elsewhere. To be honest with you, I don’t think foreigners are taking candies from local men, if anything they are taking a bullet for locals. If a woman’s priority is to meet a rich white man to take her away, she probably isn’t right in the head and have been watching too many Disney movies. I think if Jin had translated some of the comments that were posted on golden or uwants (the HK equivalent of 4chan), you would see what I mean. According to them, these are the same kong girls that they avoid in the first place. No love lost there.
I would talk a bit more about the requirements to attend this event, but I think Jin has already covered this and why it is such an outrage.
To the organizers of this event, shame on you for exploiting desperate women for money and at the same time make Chinese people look bad. Not all of us believe Caucasians are better than us, well I guess the women who think so make us look bad. This definitely portrays a negative international image in that anyone that is Caucasian can just come to HK and treat it like a playground. All this does is perpetuate the myth that one race is better than others.
In conclusion, to the women who managed to hook up with a foreigner at the event: good riddance, that’s one less money digging, ignorant person in the dating pool in HK that I will meet.
One thing that is clear to me reading the comments here and the original post is how deep seated the insecurity is still among SOME Chinese.
To be honest, it’s the usual HK ‘storm in a tea cup/village’ mentality’. Who cares if some old hag wants to pay some cash to gone on a date with a foreigner? Go to London or New York, or any real ‘international’ city, and you’ll see tons of interacial couples (including Chinese).
Politically incorrect – article that can’t be published on any national newspapers. Period.